The Story of Us

A part of me wants to write about the "flash flood of 2009," which has claimed the life of our laminate flooring (RIP, flooring) and has wreaked havoc on the University of Louisville; however, I would rather write about something happier--specifically, about how Jose and I came to know each other, fall in love, and get married. I can't say that it's love story that would win any awards, but it's our story, nonetheless.

It's no secret that both Jose and I had been in serious relations hips with other people the year before we met, and (fortunately) they both came to an abrupt end. Honestly, I was very devastated when this relationship ended. I remember sitting with my mom on our patio in Fredericksburg telling her how I was never going to be able to meet anyone because I was starting my second year in medical school, and I really didn't want to date anyone in my class because of the drama that could ensue, if the relationship did not work out. Like all mothers, she reassured me that God would find a way to put that special person in my path--maybe not quickly, but if i was patient, it would happen. Like a typical daughter, I listened, knowing that she was right, but too blinded by the hurt I felt to really believe it in the moment.

So, second year of med school started, and I dove into my studies, which was a good thing because there was a lot to study. I pretty much took on the philosophy that I didn't need a relationship, nor was I gonna look for a relationship. Little did I know the surprises that God had in store for me that year :-)

Unbeknownst to me, a young man was traveling to the University of Virginia from Florida to begin his PhD in economics. He, too, was headed to the unknown, but was certain that he was going to focus on his studies. He later confessed to me that part of the reason he had chosen UVA was because he thought there would be no distractions--i.e. no girls to get in his way. If he had only known...

The first time I met Jose, I didn't really pay much attention to him. We both vaguely remember the meeting--I can't remember if he was being dropped off and I was being picked up or vice versa by 2 mutual friends (Elizabeth and Amanda), and I remember someone introducing us, but I didn't give it a second thought. The second time I remember meeting him was at a restaurant when I was out to dinner with Amanda and Elizabeth. They had also invited him along. I remember he seemed nice, but I was so focused on catching up with my girlfriends that I didn't really get to know him very well.

Then, came my birthday. This, of course, was the first birthday that I had spent in 3 years outside of a relationship. To be honest, I was really nervous about it--and my friend Nadtya came to visit to help ease the discomfort I might feel from being "alone" on my birthday. The night before my actual birthday, we went to a dinner hosted by a latin organization on campus (forgive me, but I can't remember the actual organization who organized it right now). There, he was again. He invited my friend to dance, and honestly, I thought he was interested in her. He asked me to dance, and I noticed what a fantastic dancer he is (and how much I needed to brush up on my skills!), but I didn't think too much about it.

The next day is the infamous day when I tried to put in red highlights and ended up with red hair. That is a post for another day. It also was my birthday, and since I was feeling the anxiety of "being alone" I opted to do something to make myself feel better. I was supposed to go out to lunch with Amanda, Elizabeth, Nadtya, and Valerie; but when I saw my hair, I cried and didn't want to get out of the bathroom. After several people telling me "It's not that bad" I finally came out. Everyone was running late, and I was getting cranky because of my hypoglycemia (I don't do well being hungry for long periods of time) and because of what I had done to my hair. When we finally got in the car, we stopped at Valerie's apartment to pick her up--and when I entered the apartment--what a surprise! Friends gathered to celebrate my birthday! I was so touched. And amongst these friends was that young man, Jose. To hear him retell it, he says that he was all busted and had been at the library studying when Amanda and Elizabeth brought him to Valerie's apartment for the party. I don't remember him being "busted." I remember that he spent a lot of the afternoon talking to me. I have to say that I was pretty bitter--i think at one point, I even sang "what's love got to do with it." But, I suppose he could see something else there--something deeper. You see, he had been hurt, too. "But don't give up, " he told me; "if nothing else, go out for the free dinners." (always the economist :-) After the party ended, a group of us decided to meet later that evening to celebrate. I gave Jose my phone number and invited him, too.

Of course, my friends said they could feel the connection. Amanda and Elizabeth, apparantly, had been planning on our meeting and getting together for quite some time--we just hadn't known it until then.

A few days later, no phone call. Was the connection in my head? Was he just interested in friendship? Not ready to face rejection, I decided to email everyone who had been at my party to thank them for coming. I included him in the email, of course, and figured that if he was interested, he would email or call. It didn't take long for him to email--the response: something along the lines of you should thank your friends for the party...and at the end, "want to meet up for coffee sometime?" YES!!!!

We never did go out for coffee. Later that week, I met up with him and a few of his friends to see a movie after which we went to dinner. The movie was pretty powerful, and I leaned over to him to let him know that sometimes, I do cry at movies. He told me that he just wanted me to be me--whatever that was. At dinner, I remember he talked most of the time (this is not unusual for us...hahahahaha), but I was just mesmerized by the things he was saying. Thinking back, it was a pretty profound conversation for a "first date." He told me about his family, and I could tell by the way he talked about them that he was really close to them. He told me how he wanted to be a professor because if offered more flexibility for a family life, and that his dream was for a house with a white picket fence. The thing that struck me was how similar his dreams were to mine...

After that, we pretty much spent all of our free time together. We had study dates at the library. We had breakfast together before marathon studying before finals. We also got a chance to see plays, go to the movies, go to fun dinners and parties...and somewhere along the way, we fell in love.

I often say that he was my birthday present that year. Eight years later, with almost 6 years of marriage under our belts and 2 kiddos, I still think that marrying him has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I wouldn't change it for anything!